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#Wheninmilan 1

I thought my plan was clear. Jump, survive and come back home when i finish my race.
First i nailed stage one, two and three. There's no replay button by the way; so i felt pretty darn good. I won the bonus round too! I'm tougher and stronger now. I'm ready to come home and made my long time dreams come true but oh... NOW You tell me that i could choose whether to come back or to continue for the most challenging round ever? What kind of game is this? 

6 p.m: 

I look outside the window... Thinking so hard i didn't realize it's noon already. The sun went down as fast as the lightning that day. My mom texted me and she told me to stay here a little bit longer, i nod as if she was in front of me... But my heart wants to go home and hug my love ones... It hurt me a little bit when i saw her texts, it's like she didn't want me to bother her anymore but i knew that's just my middle child syndrome trying to bring me down again... Oh Cindy, she sacrificed her happiness for you, respect her opinion pretty please! 

I try to distract my mind by counting those tiny people wandering around the piazza, so many and those colors are so pretty. Silence filled the room surrounded by high ceiling windows, i wear my daily uniform which are black hat, shoes, dress and dark lipstick. As conservative as ever... yeah right my hair color are black and green so this is the new office look yo! I looked calm and collective, but what's inside my head are two tornadoes swirling around fighting just like the cats and dogs  ... They've been running around like crazy. What should i do? God, could You give me a sign or two just to be sure? Am i good enough to even dream about it? But i thought I've finished the race and had some wild dreams i know... but they're not actionable. It's not even possible but i never thought I'll finish my race either. So.... What should i do? Back to square one... 

Suddenly my phone rang and it's an unknown number... I press the answer button and....

"Hi is this Cindy? I'm.... from AAAA and we would love to schedule a job interview with you, are you here in Milan?", she asked. 

I just gasped and said 
" Si, Sono io...hmm I mean yes sure i would love to!"

"I'll send you the details via email and see you soon!" the call ended and my heart was filled with uncertainty.

Should i dove deeper? Think hard and figure your things out darling!

I checked my emails and OMG... Another job interview and a morning meeting for Thursday!! *gasped* You gotta be kidding me... Sometimes God answers your prayers in a blink of an eye.  How could You do this? I thought when my friends telling me to come home quick and start a life in my home country were the signs! I've made up my mind but then... You answered all of my prayers at once and my little brains are all messed up and confused... Silly me, i thought i would know how this blogpost gonna end but NOPE! Just be grateful and keep swimming Cindy... Just, be careful what you wish for cause He said "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD(Isaiah 55:8). 

Maybe just maybe, it's okay to not to have a plan at all? Life is full of uncertainty, it's okay to be lost... Everything is going to be just fine you'll find the answer later *inhale exhale* 

to be continued.... 

Photographed by Tridan Yoshua       Dress: Duma Official       Shoes: Zara         Hat: &Other Stories


Lost and Found

Have you ever felt so lost? Like you don't know what to do or what will happen next, your surroundings seems a little bit too familiar. You had everything well planned but one thing led to another and you end up here... Forced to choose between two paths; your wildest dreams and the convenience of reality.
You try to walk them both in the same time but oh boy, sometimes you lose your hope... Sometimes you feel left out because you took the different path. While everybody is so happy to live in their comfort zone; your comfort zone. But you... you still try(and try and try) to break the rules and hope someday you'll make it to the other point of your life, little baby steps at a time.
I found myself in this situation lately and i really want to overcome this fear. I want to try the hardest, to change my destiny. To be brave enough to say "well... at least I've tried", to have faith in the journey itself, in God and in myself. I was lost and i almost lose ALL of my hopes... But today i decided to be brave enough to start something new, to at least give it a try. To find what i really made of once more and i hope you're ride along with me... Through our ups and downs, well.... Life is all about Lost and Found...
I made a youtube channel last week, thank you so much for those who watch, like, subscribe and share... I really appreciate it guys and I'm blessed to be able to inspire and get inspired by you all for these past 4 years.  Click HERE to see my new Vlog on youtube!

Photographed by Agung Kurniawan of Moreno Photography
Vest dress: Duma Official
Pants: Zara
Shoes: Lostandfoundjkt
Bag: Selma by Michael Kors
Watch: Daniel Wellington


Night In Milan

Got an impromptu photoshoot with a super talented photographer of Moreno Photography here in Milan. I never have an icy blue night in Milan before and this one is so perfect! I even got a total makeover from Ely, she's so talented! I feel like a Cinderella before, so pretty and elegant just for one night since i never got a professional makeup artist here in Milan.The duomo looks like the Disney castle and with my Nike sports bra I'm so ready to run away i guess.

Photographed by Agung Kurniawnn
MUA by Ely Agustina
Blazer: Bespoke vintage blazer
Top: Nike


Long Distance Relationship Q&A

Hi! After all the questions and a long overdue, i decided to share a part of my life as the member of Long Distance Relationship survivor(and still surviving). I made a video in bahasa because the majority of you guys asked me in bahasa but don't worry for those who were amazed by the lack of subtitle in my video, please read the transcipt here in ENGLISH!

1. How to get over with the trust issues to start a long distance relationship?
You should not have a trust issue at all with your love one with or without a long distance relationship, do an advanced research about him before you two decide to have a relationship. Use your logic and if you don't trust him enough then why should you two be together?

2. How to tackle the insecurity of LDR when you know your significant other is so popular and lovable?
TRUST TRUST TRUST, you should be able to trust him that much and stop the fights, no matter how small it is; at the end of the day those fights are now worth the pain.

3. What about birthday? How could i give my significant others a surprise or a gift?
I usually pay the bakery a head of time or with DHL or UPS, just send him the surprise gift darling!

4. How to survive LDR?
Set aside both of your egos and try to see the big picture. What is your mission? Is he/she your true soulmate? Humor is an essential thing in a relationship especially if you want to have a long term one. You need to also have your own space, grow your network, focus on your career. Don't be too clingy, have a life! You need to have your own thing and share it with your love one.
Honesty is also essential... Without it there's no point to even be together anymore.

5.Lesson from LDR that non-LDR couple won't get?
I think time management! With all the time difference and activities you have. Time is the key!
Energy saving is another lesson, you need to be able to manage and focus where and when to put your energy. Last but not least, i learn to be an independent woman. I was a little bit spoiled thanks to my gentleman boyfriend who always drive, cook, edit and decide for me. I started my relationship when i was 17 so... I became a better person basically! I grew up... Sometimes you need to learn to live alone and to deal with a lot of problems alone to be independent.

6. Is it awkward everytime you meet after not be able to see each other for a long time?
Never, you should be happy no? We've been together for years so distance shouldn't be a problem, we're still the same person. You definitely need to connect the missing link in your relationship. Unless you made him/her for the very first time(it's okay to feel awkward but thanks to internet right?)

7.  Should i trust a guy who said he was afraid to start a relationship with me because he doesn't want me to focus on him while i was studying abroad but he'll still love me anyway?
NO NO NO,  LDR is tough so you need a guy who knows what he wants and who's tough enough to have a long distance relationship! If he's afraid now... maybe he'll start a relationship behind your back in the future. So my answer is no.

8. How to manage homesick during long distance relationship?
Explore the city, travel a lot! Focus on your career/education. Learn new things; new language for instance. Last but not least, use your skype and maintain your communication with your significant other.

9. How to handle fights during LDR?
My boyfriend and i never have a fight for more than 24 hours. We try to solve the problems as fast as possible and move on! We have too much things to do than arguing on the small things. Learn to support each other instead of bringing each other down. It's hard enough to not be able to see each, make your LDR a great experience not a reason to break up.

10.If you could turn back time, will you still do a long distance relationship?
Yes, i will. LDR is fun in a way... Okay okay judging minds, let me explain it before you start OMGing. I grew up and become an independent woman because of this LDR thingy. I learned things that i won't be able to learn in my home country. I have a lot of great experiences here in Milan and i can't wait to share it with you guys! I am who i am because of the experiences i've been through. I could also test my love on and our relationship is getting stronger and stronger because of the distance.

That's all guys, hope you learn something from this post! Feel free to comment down below and please subscribe to my youtube channel will ya!

click HERE to see my youtube channel!


What To Wear On Graduation Day?

When you thought you already get through the hardest part of your life, your graduation day will make you realize you're just getting started and the fight is not over yet. I have my master degree under my belt now! Yeay, i'm officially a master of Fashion Styling and Visual Merchandising. I thought it'll be easier for me to pick the perfect clothes for my graduation day, but nope! I still have the question of what to wear on my graduation day on my head over and over again.
As one of the international students here in Milan, i always want to represent my country in a way, here in Milan the graduation day was pretty casual, no fancy party during the day or parade of ball gowns. They keep it minimal and sweet especially during the hot summer day. I always incorporate batik to my graduation attire, you can see it clearly during my graduation last year from marangoni here .
This time i decided to wear my black jumpsuit and wrap around my batik as if it was an obi or belt. I also wear my favorite wedges from my boyfriend because nobody could stand hours of standing in heels during the heat of summer.
My parents weren't there but i know if they could they would've come. I feel blessed to have a sweet and supporting boyfriend who came all the way from Indonesia to help me with my thesis and see me graduated for the second time. He was there during my high school graduation ceremony too! I wanted to thank God also for my bestfriends here in Milan, i can't survive Milan without them and for my readers, keep fighting! Thank you for reading all of my stories and life journey. Keep dreaming, believing and i'm sure we could achieve great things together!

Photographed by Ivan Victor Lucas 
Jumpsuit: Zara
Shoes: Celine


Chateau de Versailles

Checked my bucket list wandering around Versailles for hours with my love one. It's like i'm living my dream, we created our memories together, looking at those king and princess bedrooms, i couldn't believe it was real! How can someone live in a place like this? Full of crystal,gold, arts and basically the best things in life.

This will be a mashed up of outfit, couple and travel post all together, i want you all to travel with me or as if you're there too with me and my boyfriend!

So here we go, the step by step guide to go to Versailles from Orly airport:
1. Took the shuttle bus from orly airport to 'Pont de Rungis (2 or 3 stops)
2. Buy a rer ticket to Anthony 
3.  From Anthony you need to find RER C to stop of Massy Palaiseau
4. Change the train to Versailles Ch√Ęteau/Rive Gauche 
5. You need to walk for 10 minutes from the station to Palace of Versailles.

Hope you could enjoy Versailles with your love ones someday and do share with me if you do!

Photographed by Ivan Victor Lucas and myself
Shorts: Zara
Shoes: Adidas superstar slip on
Hats: &Otherstories
Top: Bershka
Denim: Asos
Shoes: Adidas Yeezy Boost 350